Friday, March 23, 2007

Daffodils are up



. . . and so are my spirits. What a difference a week makes. Change is constant, as perennial as the seasons. My efforts seem to be bearing fruit. Work is happening - or beginning to. Is it meaningul work? It's using my skills and talents. It's creative, productive. Is it contributing to others' lives? Making them better? Making the world a better place? I suppose you could argue the point, though planning a party for a western city and writing a PR plan for a beverage isn't what I think I'm looking for when I think "meaningful work." I don't hate it and it will provide a comfortable income, but it's not heartfelt. As I continue to explore my interests, I realize that something I need is work that is sensual. That is, it engages most of my senses. Seems when I have that, there's an exchange of energy that begins with the exercise of the senses, then migrates to the heart and the brain. I think that I'll be more satisfied if I begin with the senses rather than beginning with the brain.

Touch, for instance. Massage is one of those areas that has interested me and that I've explored and written about in the past. It's a very intimate experience and one that allows feeling, intuition, thought to be triggered by the hands. It seems like one of those organic experiences - holistic. And if I'm doing it well, I'm bringing healing and pleasure and satisfaction to my subject. It seems like one of those activities that is physical, emotional, intellectual - though probably less so, and intuitive. It's creative.

Working with rock. With stones. A friend of mine just gave me the phone number of a woman who works with stone, building walls. It's something that I've thought a lot about. I'd like to build one for my house. I once took a class in stone wall building and I've read about it. It's another one of the sensual occupations. It's physical and strenuous, it's visual - the beauty and shape of the rock and the placement of the rocks to create an aesthetic, yet strong foundation. It's aural, the sound of rock upon rock. It's tactile - the feel of smooth rock on the hands.

I spoke to the florist and offered my services on a freelance basis or other. We talked about working directly with the flowers as well as promoting their services.

I'm feeling like things are beginning to open up for me as long as I can remain open to what is presented to me. If I can listen in the silence to what my heart yearns for and have the courage to explore it. To choose it.

In New York daffodils are blossoming. Some of them are poking through the remaining snow. Further north in New England, the tender green shoots are just beginning to emerge from the damp earth. Anticipation.

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